real life {and some pics too..}

for the past little WHILE now, i have felt the want list growing, the excuses mounding, and the pressure rising. life has not been so easy the past few years for me or my dear family. and with the new addition to it, krew and mr. baby daddy.. life has just been plain hard. i've felt the need to be perfect, to show how happy we have and can be on occasions, the desire to be outwardly appealing and to keep my chin up. but really i haven't. and i've spent quite a lot of nights with tear filled eyes and hopeless dreams of visions on pinterest and the blogs i read. but with long talks with my mom and a few late nights laying next to krewbear's daddy.. i've realized it's just okay. and it's going to be.

we have nearly twice as much pushing against us, my little family of 3 does.. but we took on this challenge and some how some way, we both see a sliver of light at the end of the tight and dark tunnel we're crawling through right now. the odds are positively negative.. but how can you be happy in life if you've never truly been sad.

people like to pass judgment, and ask questions.. some of those very reasonable and i ask them myself sometimes. but who are we to judge? i'm doing the very best i can with what i got. and sometimes i could give a little more effort, i have no problem admitting that. but when i look at my little baby boy and his perfect white skin cuddled up in my bed with the light from the window streaming in and the fan blowing his short auburn hair as he snores, i realize he is all that matters.. and i just want to make him proud. his mommy and daddy may need a little help, but we love him more than life and we're going to fight to give him the life he deserves. those who are confused by my situation.. WE'RE RIGHT THERE WITH YA.. give us a little slack. what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger, right? tomorrow my baby son is 7 months old, and i could not be more blessed for this healthy child of mine. <3

*photos via facebook the last 2 weeks