today, i am both overly joyed with excitment and terrified by the time slipping away from baby daddy and i as we watch our first born and pride and joy begin to crawl, mock our pathetic attempts at saying da-da, sit up by himself, and hold is bottle and send him self to sleep after a long day of impressing us and making our hearts swell with happiness. podie and i sat across from eachother just admiring our krew hudson john agreeing that the love we have for him can not simply be measured or described but felt in the heart. he's a constant company, a reminder of why life is worth living, and a reason to do our best everyday. we're a little man's guidance and home. and he is ours. the things my mom told me i would feel for my son when he was born never held a higher meaning until i held him for the first time. everything just fell into place as i laid eyes on him and realized all the things every other mother said i would feel. i look at pictures of new babies being born and families gathering in hospital rooms and it sends me straight to Oct. 17th, 6 fast and short months ago when i gave birth to krew... new mama's... aren't we so lucky? nothing in this world matters as much as our children do. they're the purest of everything pure. goodness, i love my sweet boy.
and as i think about the devastating events surronding krew's birth i remember the outstanding strength i felt the minute i laid eyes on him. nothing else mattered. i was a mama and i had the most powerful gift god can give a person, motherhood. i blocked everything else out to be your protector.
baby son, i love you more than words can describe. every tear you cry, every laugh you squeal, and every glance you give me with your gummy smile... i just melt and feel at home. today, you have shown me the value of life and the power of being a mother to something so vulnerable. i can not wait to teach you more and watch you learn. your amazing baby boy. and this weekend at daddy's cabin was the perfect getaway and amazing milestone to watch you begin to crawl. your everything to me. sweet dreams my krewbear, 14 always and forever. like your daddy always says (;
*pictures from the lake and the past week of events coming soon! (film being developed)
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